Talk to Me

Your always actin so composed and cool

Never got many words for me

You always turn your head to make sure I see

Baby ain't nothin wrong with the love

You and I dream of, So sweet

Your eyes can say more than your lips can speak

Amerie

Sometimes when you are getting to know someone, you have to rely on emotional intelligence. More often than not, you should back up your intuition with communication. The scenario, I try to avoid is the misconception that creates miscommunication.

I have been the victim of fantasies my entire life. I am a Tall, Athletically built, African-American Male. People would always walk up to me and ask me about football and girlfriends. I am non-gender performing. As a Poet once noted I stand flat footed, akimbo, with hands firmly on hips. I am at ease with my feminine nature.

Dating men, the fantasies have ranged from stereotyping to fetish. I look intimidating, people say. This leads to men approaching me to be dominated. I have a masculine appearance ( stereotypically). This leads to men disappointed by my gay cultural mannerisms. I make no apologies, but I am a sophist. I behave according to the environment.

The worst fantasy to be cast in is that of relationship monger. This often occurs when one participant is a commitment phobe ( usually unaware), and the other is a communicator. Heterosexual couples tend to rely on gender stereotypes to explain this scenario. Being SGL when one faces this crises, it can often leave both parties pointing fingers.

I have witnessed numerous weekend plans, conversations about goals, or inquiries like" what are you up to" cause breakups between male/male couples.The commitment phobe (CP) assumes everything is about gaining control. The communicator assumes every omission is a tactic. Assumptions although problematic are natural. It is the conscious effort to dispel the perception, that builds a relationship.

The CP has to realize that all interactions are a relationship. In every communication your a gaining more access to a person and them to you. No matter what you do. The unavoidable consequence of social interaction is a memory. Make it the best one you can.

The communicator has to act definitively and without fear. Problems tend to erupt from coding your inquiries. Realize your intentions are only transparent to you. Talk from intention. And be ready to listen.

It is neither persons fault that relationships fail. The failure of a coupling has too many variables to point blame. Open you heart. Open your eyes. Look with your mind. Hear with your soul.

AINT THAT THE TRUTH!