Everyday's Holiday

When I think of you
Better days and get aways
Cuz everydays a Holiday
With You
Esthero

Its Good Friday and its a warm spring day. I love the warm air and the tingle of spring. The reawakening of my senses and libido. Some people want to cuddle and be close all winter. Winter depresses me( Yea I'm one of those people). Because I am a teddy bear type of guy, I often get the winter husband status. One of my winter husbands has lasted for a few years now. I love him and he knows who he is.

I often think about a monogamous life, living in the suburbs with children with him. Although we are both City people with voracious sexual appetites, I still dream. The song that inspired today's post is "Our" song. I cant hear it without thinking of him.

We used to take these road trips around DC . Just drive and smoke up and ride. This was before Gas prices went crazy. Even though I loathe driving, I enjoyed the pointless nature of it all. One spring day we hopped in my little sports car and put on the Esthero EP. It is one of my favorite Cd's to smoke to,to this day. We drove around the Chesapeake Bay towns of Annapolis and Chesapeake Beach. We got a little lost and laughed about it. He taught me how to relax.

I am usually at ease in other people's company, but when the intimacy grows, I tend to get anxious. I begin to crave alone time. Irritability and critical thoughts begin to crowd out pleasantries. He always met my abruptness, with a giggle. He would shake his head and say Baby you need to give that shit up. I didn't understand. But I knew to shut the hell up.

Single person behavior is the hardest thing to give up when embarking on a relationship. Eating cold cuts out the pack while reading fashion magazines. Picking between my toes until they are raw. Laying around in PJ's for three days. You may get back to all of that but it takes a period of adjustment. You have to adjust to feel comfortable to resume the behavior. They have to feel comfortable enough to accept your needs while maintaining their boundaries.

I am seeing a guy right now that I can't seem to pull out of the house. He lives in the suburbs. Something I would have avoided if we had met on the Internet. I would have tried to judge his mobility through an interview. Do you come to the city often? What do you do for fun? What is your favorite restaurant?

I have a little fear that he is not that into me. However, he reassures me to not have any fear, he is indeed into me. He admits to his lazy streak and warned me of his traumatic allergies. I'm going to stick it out. Better days and get aways, he is not. Maybe I had that already. Maybe my "Everyday's Holiday" man will be the only one. I know for sure, he would tell me to Give this shit up and enjoy the brother as he is.

Love you ALWA7S

AINT THAT THE TRUTH!